Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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