I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize