Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize