Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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