Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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