I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
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I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
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We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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