I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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