im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
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This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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