I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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