Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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