I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize