Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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