I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize