Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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