I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize