I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Someone shit on the floor
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
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You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
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How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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