Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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