just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize