No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize