Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize