When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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