i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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