i will never coherently bang her
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize