Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize