i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize