Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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