dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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