everyone is single if you try hard enough
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
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We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I am naked and annoyed.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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