i wish my penis had a tongue
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize