piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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