did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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