Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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