I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize