Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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