Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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