i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize