I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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