Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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