ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
two words...techno handjob
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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