Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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