Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
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he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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