He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
FUCK WHALES
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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