i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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