Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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