Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize