I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize