So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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