You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize