How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize