Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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